Vidui for the Guardian of Beauty
Gate 16: Gevurah sheb’Tiferet
Iyar 1, 5785
Ribbono Shel Olam,
I stand before You without defense,
For I have taken the beauty You placed within me
And turned it into a weapon for my pride.
I have adorned myself not for Your glory,
But to be seen.
I have craved eyes upon me,
Not hearts turned toward You.
I have seduced with appearance,
Performed with my soul,
Chasing admiration
Instead of seeking Your Face.
I confess:
I distorted holiness to serve my image.
I used beauty to enslave, not to set free.
I enticed where I should have humbled.
I demanded honor where I should have demanded truth.
I confess:
I feared being invisible more than being false.
I chose applause over authenticity.
I used Your gifts to build a tower to myself.
Today, by the merit of Gevurah sheb’Tiferet,
I cast down my false crown.
I tear away the garments stitched from admiration.
I strip away the layers of performance and leave only this:
A soul, naked of pretense,
Longing not to be loved,
But to be true.
Master of Compassion and Strength,
Pierce my vanity with Your discernment.
Set a guardian at the gate of my heart.
Let no beauty emerge from me
Except that which reflects You alone.
Teach me the discipline to protect Your light,
The strength to be unseen,
The courage to be nothing but real before You.
I no longer seek to be admired.
I seek to be Yours.
Amen.
